Are you constantly dreaming about a break-up with your partner? Do your relationship dreams have an underlying theme of abandonment and rejection? If yes, clinical psychologist Seema Hingorani goes on to explain why.

Negative relationship dreams stem from a traumatic past

According to Seema, people who generally have fears of abandonment and have gone through a traumatic past tend to have negative relationship dreams. It comes from a deep sense of rejection that they may have experienced. As a result they have a constant fear of abandonment. These individuals also suffer from a severe case of co-dependency and are generally clingy and needy. Most of their dreams are about their partner passing away, breaking up or abandoning them. As these feelings have never been resolved or expressed they end up having these dreams.

What can be done to address it

Seema stresses that dreams are not the issue  here. A mental health expert will try to understand where this insecurity is coming from. He or she will further investigate if there was some childhood trauma where the individual faced rejection from parents or a romantic attachment. Did one of the parents abandon them as a child or abandon their parent? What was the home environment like? Were they witness to a lot of fights at home? Finding answers to these questions is vital and can help a mental health expert understand the case history.

How trauma experts handle such cases

Seema shares that trauma experts will bring up the past disturbing memories and attachment issues and slowly work on them. This process is called processing. Once you start processing people’s past attachments and memories it gives you an insight into their psyche.  Psychoeducation is also needed to make them understand the impact their past has had on them.

Also, how it’s reflecting on their current partners. This awarenss helps in emotional healing. Generally such individuals are the takers in the relationship and this can be exhausting for the other partner. Helping them connect the dots, and giving them a much needed perspective by making them aware of past behavioural patterns (which were negative) also helps address this deep sense of abandonment.