toxic partner, emotionally abusive partner

Are you living with an emotionally abusive partner?

In a healthy relationship, your partner should make you feel secure and comfortable. You should be able to confide in him or her without having to think twice. If you are constantly walking on eggshells around him or her, it indicates that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship. This constant toxicity is detrimental to your well-being.

You are in an emotionally abusive relationship if…

A toxic relationship can take a toll on your physical, mental and emotional well-being. Hence, it’s important to recognise the signs of emotional abuse.  Clinical psychologist Seema Hingorani lists the signs you need to look out for, and how to cope.

  • If anything goes wrong it’s your fault

A toxic partner rarely accepts responsiblity for things not working out. He or she always resorts to pinning the blame on their partner for things not working out. They are likely to present themselves as being perfect, and you always end up feeling inferior in their presence.

  • Your partner calls you names

In his or her eyes, you are useless, worthless and incapable of doing anything right. A toxic partner will make every attempt to label you negatively and to underline how worthless you are as an individual.

  • You become a pawn in their game of upmanship

An emotionally abusive partner does not care about your feelings and emotions. He or she will go to any lengths to achieve what they want. They will even manipulate you or the situation to prove a point and to get what they desire.

  • Your emotions mean nothing

There is no empathy, compassion and understanding in this relationship.  You are a means to an end, and your emotions mean nothing to your partner.

  • Promises are broken and never kept

Your partner does not respect you, and feels no remorse when a promise is broken.

  • You begin to doubt yourself

Your partner’s constant negativity has taken a toll on you emotionally, and you doubt yourself and your capabilities.

  • You are not yourself around your partner

You are afraid of voicing your thoughts and views as you are scared of being judged by your partner. As your partner is constantly critical of you, you do not feel comfortable in his or her presence, and do not respect him or her.

  • Your are constantly fighting to stay afloat

You feel like you are living in a time loop. Your problems are never addressed as there’s always something new that you can be blamed for. It’s a never ending cycle of emotional abuse.

Surviving an emotionally abusive relationship

Living with a toxic partner can be incredibly stressful. The degree of emotional abuse can vary in relationships. If you choose to stay, you will have to take some drastic measures to change things.

  • Reach out to a mental health expert, who can help you gain clarity about yourself and your relationship.
  • Attempt to fix things by making it clear that this emotional abuse cannot go on. If things do not get better, you will have to consider walking away for your own sanity.
  • Ensure you have a support group of friends and family, who can stand by you if you choose to break-up with your partner.
  • Review your finances in the event you choose to part ways with your partner. Consider the pros and cons of your decision.
  • If possible, think things through, do not act on impulse. Make sure you have a plan in place.